Thursday, February 21, 2008

Going Dark

This will be my last transmission until March. I am going down to communist paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, comrade. For some reason, down in Cuba, hockey ain't all that big. So I am going on a diplomatic mission to spread the word of the Maple Leaf to the masses, or atleast to my best when not engaged in the wonders that come with the words all inclusive, only golf course on the island and free everything.
Unfortunately, as I have mentioned before, I shall miss the much anticipated trade-deadline goodness that is soon to explode. So by the time I return the dust will have settled, coming home will be almost as exciting as leaving.

Catch you all on the flip side.

Monday, February 18, 2008

For Sale

One Media Type Person Seeking Employment As Anonymous Source (stop laughing blogs are media....kinda).
Will estimate, inflate, initiate and any other 'ate' any and all sports rumors for a fare fee.
Will spread negative source comments about Ottawa Senators, Buffalo Sabers, Montreal Canadians and Baseball at drastically reduced wages.
Able to work, days, nights and weekends. Preferably looking for full time work, but will take part time as well.
Have computer, phone and voice disguising device, so is able to work from home.
Only stipulation is that I remain anonymous. Pay and bullshit quota is negotiable.

Resume enclosed.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Eat It Roaming Knome

I never miss an opportunity to be silly or ridiculous, especially in exotic locals. So, since I am going away next week and need something to keep me occupied so I don't go batty thinking about the trade deadline. Thus I give you a preview to the first chapter of "Traveling Tie Dom-Key". Tie who-what you ask? Well Tie Dom-Key is my Toronto Maple Leaf Player key chain, who I always thought looked like Tie Domi, a key chain. Yeah, I'm clever. The idea is to take photos of Tie Dom-Key in exotic and hopefully comical/compromising situations. Heres a preview picture of the little fella, on my desk. SCANDELOUS!

There he is, right in the middle, looking all smug. Right next to my Tie Domi bobble head (I was a pretty big Tie fan if you can't tell) and my current reading material (as suggested by one Sherry) .
This will either be the best, or dumbest thing I have ever done. Either way, I look forward to it.


Found this little ditty on youtube this morning, not the biggest fan of the music used, and some of the footage is a little grainy, but damned if its not awesome.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Wait For It

It is quite anxious being a Leaf fan these days. We have a team that doesn't seem too keen on giving up goat, beating teams they have no buisness beating, and then there is Stamkos watch 2008 / chop cut rebuild. I have come to a simple conclusion of what I am to do in said situation. I am going to cheer for my team. If they win, I cheer because that probably makes Mats worth an extra first rounder come the 26th. If they lose, I cheer because we are one step closer to seeing the scariest line not yet assembled, Tlusty / Stamkos / Earl in 2010.
I have also chosen not to hold any grudges should players in question not waive their NTC's. I mean, can you blame them for wanting to remain Toronto Maple Leafs? I can't. It is the top of all my boyhood dreams and getting put in a situation where I have to choose to give that up, I don't know if i could, not even for a Stanley Cup.
The trade tension continues to build in Leaf Nation. Every Leaf fan worth their salt thinks Fletch has something epic brewing, me included. But what? It's like Christmas when you're 8, only Christmas could happen at any time up to and including the 25th. The anticipation is near heart attack inducing. Even worse for me since I'll be out of country from the 22nd onward and will not return till early March with no way of getting hockey news. Thank god its an all inclusive resort or I'd go mad thinking about the crazy wonderful things Fletch has pulled off.


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

You Know Who You Are

An Open Letter To Dumb Asses

Dear Jack-Tards:

I have been meaning to write you for some time now, but have been incapable of finding the proper words. You see, this is probably my fourth or fifth attempt to put my feelings in writing about this whole "Leaf Fans Are To Blame For The State Of Their Team" charade.
Well, they say a picture is worth 1000 words, I think this one is worth 1004.

Best of luck in your future ass-hattery.

Yours Truly: Jaredoflondon

Monday, February 11, 2008

LolLeafs - Veto Edition

More LolLeaf goodness, gotta keep up with Loser Domi after all.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Get Down With Your Bad Self

History, both recent and not so recent, would dictate that the Toronto Maple Leafs are in fact, not a very good hockey team. In most cases they can best be described as mediocre with horrific luck. Injury plagued, bad ice, horrible reffing, what have you.
Then they do something like beat the two best teams in the East, convincingly even.
Sure, there was that little stumbling block in between, but come on. Taking Ottawa AND Montreal down? Not to mention not so shabby records against either team thus season, how can one really question that this team does indeed have some bite behind it.
This is a team that could potentially tear through the remainder of the season and dig into a playoff spot, then go for a one or two round dance before getting knocked out.
But do we really want this? I mean, I'd love to see some post-season Bud action, but how will that affect the teams future? I'd also love to shut up the "haven't made the playoffs" contingent for a year, but again, as we have all heard and been over numerous times, this team needs to be re-structured. We won't get another chance like this again.
At present the Leafs sit just out of last, in a great position to pick up some monster draft picks (need I mention the names?) . We also have a new captain coming aboard to run the show, he needs something to work with, something to build and mold into a legitimate cup contender. Handing our new GM and president the current mess of no trade clauses and little cap space won't help the Leafs in the long run, hell, it will make the short run suck even more. And I hate running to begin with.

Bring on the fire sale, out with the old, in with the new. It's going to be a bumpy road.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Fancy Meeting You Here

Hello again Mr. Habs. It's been a while since we last met.
How are you? Really? Catching up on the Sens? Making them your bitches? Yeah thats fun isn't it.
Us? Oh, well, you know, we've been better. Kind of hit rock bottom lately, and to top it all off I found out we're allergic to cats. Oh don't worry about us, we still have some juice left in the tank for tonight. Yeah, I know we haven't gotten along well in the past, I mean last time you took out one of our (best?) defensemen, thanks for that. But we've been working out, trimmed some fat, saw a doc and got a certain medical condition cleared up. You know, I do enjoy talking to you, you might not be that bad a guy after all. But were still going to have to take you out, can't have rivals beating us. Sure it's ok for the Panthers or Blues to beat us, but thing is, we need to loose, we need to be at rock bottom at the end of this year. That whole whatever doesn't kill us will make us stronger. You're going down tonight chief.

And good luck knocking those Sens down a peg.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

My Eyes! The GM Does Nothing!

An Open Letter To Cliff Fletcher.

You know what Fletch? I know you haven't been here all that long, I know these little deals take time, I know that you are trying to get maximum value for minimum return, I know you're dealing from a position of weakness.....BUT FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING BLUE AND WHITE DO SOMETHING!

I mean, I'm not asking for your block buster Sundin to the Flyers for Jeff Carter and some prospects deal, or shleping Raycroft onto LA or Tampa, but we loyals are getting a might fidgity.....Well I can't really speak for others, but I am. Last nights dive (it can only be described as such) and its subsequent repercussions aren't going to make your job any easier. It's time to get on the trade/move/shoot in the back of the head and bury in a shallow grave (I'll let you imagine who deserves this treatment in my mind) before any more debacles (god that word is just fun to use, it almost sounds dirty) like last night weaken your position even more and you are forced to trade Kaberle away for picks that have maybe 10% return value and a couple 3rd line pluggers (we only need 10 more).

My recomendation? I'm glad you asked! Start small. You know, find someone interested in your plethera of hard nosed, corner loving grinders. Newbury, Deveroux, Pohl, Kilger, hell, even Boyce if you can find a taker for a couple late round picks, or minor prospects. Just to get the ball rolling. Get one or two under your belt and show the rest of the GM's that your ready to deal. Offers will come, then you can progress to bigger deals. When the right ones come knocking, you may even be able to convince some people to drop their NTC's. You know, just say'en is all.

Oh, And if you re-sign Woznewski, you will regret it, and I will regret what I will have to do, but probably enjoy it none the less.
From: One Impatient, yet Die Hard Leaf Fan.

Edit: Make-a-wish Waived! Proof that Leafs brass reads my blog!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Cat, I'm A Kitty Cat

Panthers tonight.
I hate Joke'anin.
I hate Jock Martina.
I like being brief and to the point.
I like alcoholic pudding.
Slide for Stamkos 08!

And I dance dance dance, and I dance dance dance.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Super Bowl Special

Since my only sports desire for tonight is that the Patriots lose (in glorious fashion) I give you all the key to the kingdom.
My Alcoholic Pudding recipe.

1/2 c. cocoa
1 c. sugar
1/2 c. powdered milk
1/2 tsp. salt
3 c. water
1 c. Baileys or Kaluha (or if your feeling crazy, vodka)
4 tbsp. cornstarch
1/2 tsp. vanilla
3 tbsp. butter
Mix first 7 ingredients together. Cook in microwave stirring every once in a while until thick. When done, add vanilla and butter, mix, chill and then serve.

What does this have to do with the Leafs? Nothing, but it is fantastic.

Die Hard 5: Drink Harder

With the good, often comes the bad.
When a BoO fell on a good friends birthday, good dominated the night, while bad dominates the day.
My predication skills were sharp last night, a 4-2 victory for the Buds (at the BoO) and pain. today there is much pain, and the fool that is being pitied is me.

My skull feels about 3 sizes to small.

Friday, February 1, 2008

The Replacements

A Day Early Post.

Ah yes, at long last another round of the 'Battle of Ontario'. Another chapter in the wonderous world of Leafs V Senators that we all love and hate.
Both teams are riddled with injuries, suspensions and distractions. The Leafs are missing Antro to a three game suspension for (rightfully) calling last nights ref on a large pile of horse pucky. Also with the likes of McCabe, Deveroux, Steen, Bell, Pohl, Boyce and Pony out with injuries are looking more like the Marlies than the Maple Leafs as of late.
The Sens are missing their two best players in Leaf Killer Dany Heatly and Mats' evil Swedish counterpart, Krusty. They also have some terrific goaltending issues with 'Rage' Emery getting the start and Baby Cheese getting the night off.

Predictions? My prediction is pain.

I don't feel sorry for Balboa, but I pity the fool.