I just realized something, every person I have written an open letter to has been removed, traded or bought out by the Leafs. Think about it. JFJ, Raycroft, Wellwood, Tucker, Woznewski.
And that got me to thinking....
An Open letter To Bryan McCabe:
Hey Bryan.
Whats up? How are the kids? Enjoying the weather on this lovely summers day? Just writting to catch up. You know where to write back.
Peace out hommie!
Jaredolflondon.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Dodging A Bullet....Or Two....Hey, Put Down The Uzi
There has been a lot of talk goin' round yond inter-webs bout Unc'a Cliff getting a little zany with the free agency, but I'm gonna put that in perspective. Show you what crazy assed contracts we DON'T have to deal with in the imediate future.
Vancouver signs RFA forward Kyle Wellwood to a 1 year deal worth $997,500
- Sure, we don't get to make battered fist jokes anymore, but then we won't have too.
Washington signs UFA goaltender Jose Theodore to a 2 year deal worth $9 million
- Thats right, Jose 'Rogain' Theodore at 4.5 million a year...Christ almighty.
Colorado signs UFA goaltender Andrew Raycroft to a 1 year deal worth $800,000
-Saying they get a deal because of the buyout situation is like saying you got some expired salmon on sale at the Price Chopper. Mmmmm Salmon-ella (Booyah!).
Chicago signs UFA defenceman Brian Campbell to an 8 year deal worth $56.8-million
- 7.1 mill a year for a purely offensive defenseman, Kabby is the deal of the century.
New York Rangers sign UFA defenceman Wade Redden to a six-year contract worth $39 million
- Redden sucks as much as he did last year in Ottawa, now going to a worse defensive team in the Rangers and is still gonna pull 5.75 a year. Good for them, they deserve it. Stupid Rangers.
All that and free-agency has all but started. Don't you feel a little better now?
I do.....I think.
Jeff Finger? 14 Mill? Are You FUCKING Kidding Me?
Vancouver signs RFA forward Kyle Wellwood to a 1 year deal worth $997,500
- Sure, we don't get to make battered fist jokes anymore, but then we won't have too.
Washington signs UFA goaltender Jose Theodore to a 2 year deal worth $9 million
- Thats right, Jose 'Rogain' Theodore at 4.5 million a year...Christ almighty.
Colorado signs UFA goaltender Andrew Raycroft to a 1 year deal worth $800,000
-Saying they get a deal because of the buyout situation is like saying you got some expired salmon on sale at the Price Chopper. Mmmmm Salmon-ella (Booyah!).
Chicago signs UFA defenceman Brian Campbell to an 8 year deal worth $56.8-million
- 7.1 mill a year for a purely offensive defenseman, Kabby is the deal of the century.
New York Rangers sign UFA defenceman Wade Redden to a six-year contract worth $39 million
- Redden sucks as much as he did last year in Ottawa, now going to a worse defensive team in the Rangers and is still gonna pull 5.75 a year. Good for them, they deserve it. Stupid Rangers.
All that and free-agency has all but started. Don't you feel a little better now?
I do.....I think.
Jeff Finger? 14 Mill? Are You FUCKING Kidding Me?
Monday, June 30, 2008
Tucker'd Out
A Departing Letter To Darcy Tucker
Dear Darcy:
It is with heavy heart that I, like many Leaf fans, see you leave our beloved team. We will miss watching #16 this upcoming season, and every season after that. Like all the great Maple Leaf players, you have left a lasting impression on us. You have shown us heart, soul and passion on the ice that we will be hard pressed to ever see again. You were, and are a fan favourite for a reason. We Loved you as Side-show Bob, we loved you as Crazy Eyes, we loved you as Power Play weapon number one and we loved you last year, when you weren't all there physically. But most of all, we loved you as a Toronto Maple Leaf.
We wish you nothing but good fortune and luck in all your future endeavours and hope with fingers crossed, that one day, we will again see you in Blue and White. You are forever a Maple Leaf to us.
One Die Hard Fan of Darcy Tucker.
Jared Of London
Dear Darcy:
It is with heavy heart that I, like many Leaf fans, see you leave our beloved team. We will miss watching #16 this upcoming season, and every season after that. Like all the great Maple Leaf players, you have left a lasting impression on us. You have shown us heart, soul and passion on the ice that we will be hard pressed to ever see again. You were, and are a fan favourite for a reason. We Loved you as Side-show Bob, we loved you as Crazy Eyes, we loved you as Power Play weapon number one and we loved you last year, when you weren't all there physically. But most of all, we loved you as a Toronto Maple Leaf.
We wish you nothing but good fortune and luck in all your future endeavours and hope with fingers crossed, that one day, we will again see you in Blue and White. You are forever a Maple Leaf to us.
One Die Hard Fan of Darcy Tucker.
Jared Of London
Friday, June 27, 2008
Stuff You Didn't Need To Know
Due to some instances, such as insomnia, buy-out induced drinking binges and nunchuck bruising
posting will be delayed until Monday when I have fully recovered my faculties (well....to partially working level they were at before).
Heres what you have to look forward to in the coming future.
My Fare-the-well to Darcy Tucker.
Incoherent Ramblings on Why Don Cherry Is Awesome.
More Bad Shenn puns.
And a secret project that will either flatter or piss off a wack of my fellow bloggers. EXCITING!
End Transmission.
posting will be delayed until Monday when I have fully recovered my faculties (well....to partially working level they were at before).
Heres what you have to look forward to in the coming future.
My Fare-the-well to Darcy Tucker.
Incoherent Ramblings on Why Don Cherry Is Awesome.
More Bad Shenn puns.
And a secret project that will either flatter or piss off a wack of my fellow bloggers. EXCITING!
End Transmission.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Self Destruction In T-Minus 5...4...3...
Remember all that talk last year about blowing the Leafs up?
Well.... Boom.
Well.... Boom.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
And Now For Something Completly Different
Different as in serious...for once.
Short and sweet though, as being serious hurts me.
Let Mats walk, he's awesome, he's done a lot for the Leafs, but if he hasn't signed already we have to question if is heart is really in Toronto.
The 6 mil it would take to lock him down could be very useful.
My plan you ask? use 2 to sign Roberts for a year as intern-leader-Captian-ass kicker, and throw the other 4 plus some of the cap space at Jeff Carter. Then we have a future Capitan lined up aswell.
And I'm spent.
Short and sweet though, as being serious hurts me.
Let Mats walk, he's awesome, he's done a lot for the Leafs, but if he hasn't signed already we have to question if is heart is really in Toronto.
The 6 mil it would take to lock him down could be very useful.
My plan you ask? use 2 to sign Roberts for a year as intern-leader-Captian-ass kicker, and throw the other 4 plus some of the cap space at Jeff Carter. Then we have a future Capitan lined up aswell.
And I'm spent.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Rhymes With Orange
Since I was on vacay-shenn this weekend and didn't get back until mid Shenn-day, I was unable to witness the excitement of the draft day select-shenns. It was shenn-sational to find out, when I got back that Trader Cliff had stayed true to the monkier by Schenn-ding the Buds Shenn-venth pick to the Islanders (plus a few later round select-schenns) for the 5th over all pick to nab the Leafs a franchise defender (note: first time the words Franchise Player and Leafs has ever been uttered in a shenn-tance that didn't end in a punch line).
This kid is gonna be some-shenn, I just hope he can handle all the media atten-shenn that playing for Leaf Na-shenn comes with.
If only I could remember his name.
This kid is gonna be some-shenn, I just hope he can handle all the media atten-shenn that playing for Leaf Na-shenn comes with.
If only I could remember his name.
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