Thursday, January 24, 2008

Know Thy Enemy: "E'y Boo-Boo" Edition

Now, dear readers, Know Thy Enemy goes into often un-traveled terrain in search of the elusive, yet every present Bruins Fan.

Bruins fans are interesting for the simple reason that they aren't that easy to spot. Unlike Leaf/Hab/Sen's fans they rarely drape themselves in team colours (they save those for special occasions). They also don't boast about their team. Sure they'll talk hockey, but unless you ask, it usually isn't evident that they are a 'B' fan.

They are the Ninja of NHL fans (little known fact, all Bruins, both Boston and Bear are trained in the ancient art of Ninjitsu. Zedeno Chara is the worlds most dangerous man and has been bared from the human section of the annual Bruin Ninja competition, he must now fight other bears.)

While not brash, the Bruins fan is surprisingly resourceful. They have no problem admitting when their team is lacking, but have a cunning way of tricking you into thinking your team is no better. Word play and a toothy smile is all they need to have you questioning your own team.

Like Leafers, the Bruin fan is loyal to a fault, displaying a quiet dignity through even the toughest of seasons much like the majestic Polar Bear . But like the gentle giants of the woods in which they take their name from, once awakened from their peaceful existence of shuffling around the concrete forest for Alexander Keith's Beer and Hawaiian Pizza (its favourite foodstuffs) with something like, say trading Joe Thornton, they become an unstoppable bear of a fan. A rampaging Bruins fan is enough to stop even the most stern Habs fan in their tracks.

Bruins fans may be the most dangerous of all rival fans to the Leafs, not because of their aggressiveness, but because of their stealth. And a Bear with ninja skills is nothing to turn your back on.

Next month on 'Know Thy Enemy' we take a trip to Hockey town and explore the confounding Calamari loving Red Wingers.


Loser Domi said...

Alexander Keith's Beer and Hawaiian Pizza

1)that actually sounds awesome right now
2)it'd be Sam Adams, not Keith's.

Jaredoflondon said...

You'd think it would be Sam Adams with the whole Boston connection and all, but like I said, these fellas (and Bellas) are a tricky lot.

Loser Domi said...

I heard this and it made me think of the idea we had a few days ago about having a game where everyone on ice is drunk and the refs are on acid:

Loser Domi said...