Monday, August 18, 2008

Hit The Road Jack

Now we all (and by we I mean me and my friends that I grew up with, the rest of you I am not so sure) played a ton of road hockey in our younger days. Entire summers were spent chasing wayward tennis balls that missed the net, or yelling "Car" and halting the game for what I dubbed as a 'Zamboni run' when I was 9 (see I was as clever then as I am now).
The main part I remember is how much fun it was, especially since you really can't take road hockey seriously because nothing ever goes right. Players slip on loose gravel, goalie pad straps come undone at the most in-opportune time and there is usually a 5 year old in the mix who gets lost underfoot continuously creating an atmosphere of "where the hell is that little shit? I don't want to body check him into that on coming Buick".
The main reason road hockey is so fun is because you don't have to be good at hockey to enjoy it. Less skilled players can take out any offensive threat with the 'sweep my stick back and forth really fast so you can't get by me with the ball' move. The lack of ice takes the advantage away from those who can skate (assuming everyone can walk or jog at a decent rate) and those with wicked shots are kept in check by the "you miss the net, you chase the ball" policy. Sure, picking the corners is all well and good, but if you miss, your going for a jog my friend!
I particularly enjoy it because it is the only time I get to play goal. I always wanted to be a goalie, but according to my dad "goalie gear is too expensive to waist money on if you cant even skate" and then when I leaned to skate "You can skate to good to waist your efforts on being a goalie". Oh he was a crafty one, too bad he didn't know chicks dig goalies, because then maybe he'd stop bitchen' about me being single.

So heres the grandiose getting ahead of myself idea, I'll just throw it out there and see what sticks. A blogger road hockey game/tournament. Ideally it would pit bloggers of specific teams against each other, but seeing as how some teams have vastly more support than others, it wouldn't work too well. Maybe a 'Team barlikosphere' Vs the world concept? I dunno. The specifics of location, participation and such would have to of course be ironed out. And depending on the success, (or lack their of) I was thinking of maybe putting in and "all proceeds go to charity" thing. Yes I think big when I blog off of caffeine and no sleep. At the very least it could be an "all proceeds go to the bartender" deal.
So what is your take dear readers? Suggestions? Comments? Medication?

16 comments:

Down Goes Brown said...

At work, a bunch of us go out once a week to play road hockey. And I'm not ashamed to admit that we take it way too seriously.

If Team Barilko needs a sniper who can best be described as "a smaller, slower Dave Andreychuk", you know where to find me.

wrap around curl said...

I am down. Though my geographic locale tends to throw a wrench in things.

Jaredoflondon said...

there would be fair warning, I would also hope to initiate it during another event, say a hockey game or what have you, to make it worth those coming from far and wide to make the journey.

general borschevsky said...

I've got a wooden Montreal with a wicked curve, a pair of CCM gloves cut short to the wrists, an orange rubber ball, and a Borschevsky jersey.

I've been waiting a long time for the call.

Jaredoflondon said...

My solid Cooper Rubber goal pads have been calling lately.

eyebleaf said...

i'm down. i play in a freakin' ball hockey beer league for cryin out loud. i too man the pipes.

eyebleaf said...

and i forgot to say, this is a great fucking idea.

wrap around curl said...

It would give me a reason to buy the leopard hockey gloves I have had my eye on.

Scott Baker said...

I'd do it.

Chemmy said...

The next time I roll in to TO we're going to try and get some shinny going outdoors.

I'd play road hockey if I had to though.

Norte said...

I'm down bro

MF37 said...

I'd be all over a little road hockey. Who can forget the warm sting of a partially frozen denuded tennis ball to the groin?

If people just want to play and not worry about organizing/planning things, there's a charity three on three co-ed road hockey tournament every year on the Danforth. Here's a brochure that's out of date and upside down - an ideal format for sharing important info.

Loser Domi said...

This sounds like fun, but if I were to participate, I should warn you guys that I'm probably something like the Bryan McCabe of Road hockey. Or maybe like Pavel Kubina (what? it's been a while and I'm not athletic at all.) Now, dizzy bat or Drunken twister on the other hand, I might not suck so hard at that...

Loser Domi said...

I also may be heading to to Toronto sometime late February/early March (reading week), but I make no promises.

Greener said...

In.

Sherry said...

Jared, I think that's a brilliant idea as long as I don't actually have to play hockey and just be in charge of the refreshments because I'd rather save my reputation :P Like, seriously...I love hockey too much to embarrass the sport with my attempt to play it.

But if I have to play, dibs on goal :P