Because I enjoy lists so much, and there has been much pondering why Thomas of Kaberle isn't playing up to snuff, I give you the top ten reasons Kabby hasn't been himself.
10 - Woznewski left his Kabby voodoo doll in a damp area, and its heart of gold (just like the real Kabby) is getting rusty, slowing him down.
9 - The real Kaberle is in a dimension far far away, This clone he left is reaching the end of its limited lifespan, loosing momentum.
8 - He saw how much money Wade Redden is getting from the Rangers and has been depressed ever since.
7 - He misses Mats, and no amount of ice cream can fill the hole in his heart.
6 - With Kyle Wellwood gone, he has no one to bake his special Czech happy fun time cake for, and has to eat it all himself. Tummy aches plus 20+ minuites a night doesn't equal good play.
5 - Luke Schenn's aura is so distracting he can't focus.
4 - He accidently looked into Matt Stajans eyes during the pre-season, has been lost ever since.
3 - Habs fans have his Pug "Mr Wiggles" held hostage and are blackmailing him into playing poorly. Also Mr. Wiggles is an expert computer programmer and they needed him to set up that All star auto-vote program.
2 - His brother, the lesser Kaberle, keeps calling him every night and whispering "I have a Stanley Cup ring and you don't" which enrages Kabby so much his cheeks get so intensly hot he cannot sleep for fear of burning down his house.
1 - It is all a clever ploy to land the Leafs a solid draft possition, Kabby knows whats best for the team.