Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Open Letter - You Can't Tell Me What To Do Edition
Dear Pepsi
Where the hell do you get off thinking Canada needs a national cheer? Even worse, what the hell makes you think YOU are the ones to bring this out? Is "Go Canada Go!" not good enough for you? Fuck your couch Pepsi, your beverage may be refreshing and delicious, but your marketing is flat and has a bitter aftertaste.
I can tell you one thing, no matter the winner, it will not be cheered by me and my fellow country peoples at the game because no real sports fan gives a shit about some corporately manufactured phrase that has no historical or even logical creation.
Please as to stay out of our National business jerks. I am compelled to switch to Coke, even though it is vile and tastes like food colouring.
Jaredoflondon
Where the hell do you get off thinking Canada needs a national cheer? Even worse, what the hell makes you think YOU are the ones to bring this out? Is "Go Canada Go!" not good enough for you? Fuck your couch Pepsi, your beverage may be refreshing and delicious, but your marketing is flat and has a bitter aftertaste.
I can tell you one thing, no matter the winner, it will not be cheered by me and my fellow country peoples at the game because no real sports fan gives a shit about some corporately manufactured phrase that has no historical or even logical creation.
Please as to stay out of our National business jerks. I am compelled to switch to Coke, even though it is vile and tastes like food colouring.
Jaredoflondon
Monday, October 19, 2009
Open Letter - This Is For The Haters Edition
Dear Cowards.
You know who you are, you wagon jumping negative vibe spreading hate mongers. Please as to leave Leafs nation and never return. We don't want you here, we don't want to hear your idiotic reasoning and self fluffing and "how much better life will be" when you are no longer a member of Leafs nation. I don't care if you leave, you wont be missed, but please do everyone a favor and do it quietly. Go into hiding and don't mention hockey at all this season, then next year, you can re-emerge from your douche cocoon as an asshole butterfly fan of the team of your choice.
Get stuffed.
Not Pictured: How stupid your face is
Hugs and kisses: JaredofLondon
You know who you are, you wagon jumping negative vibe spreading hate mongers. Please as to leave Leafs nation and never return. We don't want you here, we don't want to hear your idiotic reasoning and self fluffing and "how much better life will be" when you are no longer a member of Leafs nation. I don't care if you leave, you wont be missed, but please do everyone a favor and do it quietly. Go into hiding and don't mention hockey at all this season, then next year, you can re-emerge from your douche cocoon as an asshole butterfly fan of the team of your choice.
Get stuffed.
Not Pictured: How stupid your face isHugs and kisses: JaredofLondon
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Bringin' It Back To The Old School
October 17th, 2009, 7:15AM
The Toronto Maple Leafs are gathered in the dressing room before their game day practice, awaiting Ron Wilson , who is 15 minutes late.
Stajan: I feel a disturbance in the force.
Mitchell: You are such a fuckin' nerd.
Schenn: Ha! Good one Johnny!
Mitchell: Fuck Yea it was.
suddenly a deep bass is heard, starting out far away, but coming ever closer.
Komisarek: Is that DMX?
Beauchemin: who the hell listens to that stuff anymore?
Stajan's face suddenly goes pale, as he remembers.
Stajan: Mother of god....Not again
just then the dressing room door flies open and in pimp-steps Ron Wilson, who is, as the kids say, G'd up from the feet up. An old school boom box blasting 'Party up in here' balancing on his shoulders.
Wilson: Ronniiiiiee Dubb in the hizzoooooouse.
Poni: Oh no CoachRonWilson is tha snoopydogg man again!
Wilson: Das right bitches, puttin this shit on re-wind. Ya'll gonna get a face full of gangsta up in this peice todizzay.
Mayers: I still find this offensive,
Blake: Quiet you cracka ass cracka!
Wilson pimp slaps Blake with authority.
Wilson: You keep talken trash and I'm gonna continue to colourize your albino ass face, ya dig?
Blake:(looking at the ground, dejected) Yes sir.
Beauchemin: What the hell is going on? What is wrong with you coach? I think you've been listening to too much East side boyz.
Wilson: Funny you should mention dizzat, honky. Cause we'z about to have a real n***a roll call up in this peice!
Mayers: I am now VERY offended.
Poni: Why must you hate on Nigeria JamalMayers?
Stajan: This is why no one likes you Poni.
Wilson: QUIET BITCH-ES! Its time for dat roll call, aight? I'm gonna stizzart callen out some Real OG' Leafs who know how to wizzin, they's gonna get all up in your grill and show you da trizzue mizzeaning of trizzuculence.
White: OH GOD NOT AGAIN!
Stajan: Someone hold me!
Wilson opens the door.
Wilson: Yo! Get your gangsta ass's in here y'all!
Wilson changes songs on the boom box to "Where the hood at?"
into the dressing room walk Tie Domi, Doug Gilmour and Luke Schenn walk in the door and stand behind Wilson, putting on the indimidation.
Stajan: Luke? how the hell did.....
Wilson: Shut Up fool! Deez here tough ass mofo's bout to rock your body right!
Hagman: Was that a Backstreet Boys reference?
Mitchell: Fuckin' I dunno, but fuckin' it sounded kinda queer.
Wilson: Oh dats it, you crack'a ass crackas!
Poni: is you talking to me CoachRonWilson?
Wilson: YO, MC CRUNCH, ROCK THIS PARTY!
suddenly the entire rink shakes with the force of an earthquake. Mike VanRyan bursts into flames.
Entire Team: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!
Wilson: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH BOOOOOIIIIII!!
The Toronto Maple Leafs are gathered in the dressing room before their game day practice, awaiting Ron Wilson , who is 15 minutes late.
Stajan: I feel a disturbance in the force.
Mitchell: You are such a fuckin' nerd.
Schenn: Ha! Good one Johnny!
Mitchell: Fuck Yea it was.
suddenly a deep bass is heard, starting out far away, but coming ever closer.
Komisarek: Is that DMX?
Beauchemin: who the hell listens to that stuff anymore?
Stajan's face suddenly goes pale, as he remembers.
Stajan: Mother of god....Not again
just then the dressing room door flies open and in pimp-steps Ron Wilson, who is, as the kids say, G'd up from the feet up. An old school boom box blasting 'Party up in here' balancing on his shoulders.
Wilson: Ronniiiiiee Dubb in the hizzoooooouse.
Poni: Oh no CoachRonWilson is tha snoopydogg man again!
Wilson: Das right bitches, puttin this shit on re-wind. Ya'll gonna get a face full of gangsta up in this peice todizzay.
Mayers: I still find this offensive,
Blake: Quiet you cracka ass cracka!
Wilson pimp slaps Blake with authority.
Wilson: You keep talken trash and I'm gonna continue to colourize your albino ass face, ya dig?
Blake:(looking at the ground, dejected) Yes sir.
Beauchemin: What the hell is going on? What is wrong with you coach? I think you've been listening to too much East side boyz.
Wilson: Funny you should mention dizzat, honky. Cause we'z about to have a real n***a roll call up in this peice!
Mayers: I am now VERY offended.
Poni: Why must you hate on Nigeria JamalMayers?
Stajan: This is why no one likes you Poni.
Wilson: QUIET BITCH-ES! Its time for dat roll call, aight? I'm gonna stizzart callen out some Real OG' Leafs who know how to wizzin, they's gonna get all up in your grill and show you da trizzue mizzeaning of trizzuculence.
White: OH GOD NOT AGAIN!
Stajan: Someone hold me!
Wilson opens the door.
Wilson: Yo! Get your gangsta ass's in here y'all!
Wilson changes songs on the boom box to "Where the hood at?"
into the dressing room walk Tie Domi, Doug Gilmour and Luke Schenn walk in the door and stand behind Wilson, putting on the indimidation.
Stajan: Luke? how the hell did.....
Wilson: Shut Up fool! Deez here tough ass mofo's bout to rock your body right!
Hagman: Was that a Backstreet Boys reference?
Mitchell: Fuckin' I dunno, but fuckin' it sounded kinda queer.
Wilson: Oh dats it, you crack'a ass crackas!
Poni: is you talking to me CoachRonWilson?
Wilson: YO, MC CRUNCH, ROCK THIS PARTY!
suddenly the entire rink shakes with the force of an earthquake. Mike VanRyan bursts into flames.
Entire Team: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!
Wilson: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH BOOOOOIIIIII!!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Holding Out For A Hero
Doo doo doo doooo
Doo doo doo doooo
Doo doo doo doooo
Aaahhh
Aaahhh
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for at hero 'till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero 'till the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Doo doo doo doooo
Doo doo doo doooo
Doo doo doo doooo
Aaahhh
Aaahhh
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There’s someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero 'till the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
I need a hero
I'm holding out for at hero 'till the the end of the night
Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I could swear there is someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like a fire in my blood
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'till the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night
Bonus, your ten words or less
Hope springs eternal, patience doesn't
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Breath Deep And Carry A Big Flask
New plan, starting over. The season starts a-new on Tuesday.
While the current Leafs may be Not Giving a hoot, the one that starts the new season on Tuesday are going to be awesome. Look for bounce back seasons from Francois Beauchemin and Mike Komiserik. Luke Schenn, having struggled with a softmore slump should look to regain the form from his rookie season.
While he will miss the first month of the season, Phil Kessel hopes to inject some offense into a less than stellar offensive line up.
While he missed a quarter of last year with groin issues, Jonas Gustavsson is reportedly almost ready to rejoin this squad and Vesa Toskala will get a couple games to prove he can hold down number one with the rookie looking to steal his job.
Ron Wilson has much to prove as he lead the Leafs to a league worst goals against record (for the second year in a row) and an abismal PK percentage. Both will need to be improved if the Leafs plan to end that 6 year playoff drought.
Man, I've never been so excited for a season to start!
While the current Leafs may be Not Giving a hoot, the one that starts the new season on Tuesday are going to be awesome. Look for bounce back seasons from Francois Beauchemin and Mike Komiserik. Luke Schenn, having struggled with a softmore slump should look to regain the form from his rookie season.
While he will miss the first month of the season, Phil Kessel hopes to inject some offense into a less than stellar offensive line up.
While he missed a quarter of last year with groin issues, Jonas Gustavsson is reportedly almost ready to rejoin this squad and Vesa Toskala will get a couple games to prove he can hold down number one with the rookie looking to steal his job.
Ron Wilson has much to prove as he lead the Leafs to a league worst goals against record (for the second year in a row) and an abismal PK percentage. Both will need to be improved if the Leafs plan to end that 6 year playoff drought.
Man, I've never been so excited for a season to start!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Game 1 - Leafs 3 - Habs 4 OT
New feature here at Die Hard, while most game reviews are in depth and detailed oriented, I give you something a little different.
"Game In 10 Words Or Less".
Yes there will be 82 of these, here we go
Calling bullshit on the refs, But you gotta kill those.
"Game In 10 Words Or Less".
Yes there will be 82 of these, here we go
Calling bullshit on the refs, But you gotta kill those.
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