Friday, June 6, 2008

Back In Blue

Lies eh? I'll show you lies. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Die Hard Blue and White is proud to present *drum roll please*

THE KYLE WELLWOOD SUPER POST!

Super Post you ask? What is this?
First, we start with a little Leaf-a-like Action

Its Kyle Wellwood VS Toby Maguire!
Sure, Kyle's a little doughier and Toby's a little more Blake'ish in tone. But they still share that pre-pubescent stubble and 'hur hur, I just sawed boobies' grin.


Then we throw down a little LoLeafs for spice, this one's for you LD!



Now we get to the meat. The Open letter section.

An Open Letter To Kyle Wellwood:

Hi Kyle, it's me, jaredoflondon.

Now I know you may not be too fond of me at the moment, for I, like many another blogger have ridden you pretty hard this year. Slagging on you for laziness, to poor judgement to eating too many battered fists.
See Kyle, the thing is, we only taunt you because we love you. We really want you to accell as a Toronto Maple Leaf. Not just for us, not just for the Blue Bud that graces your chest. But for you. We know that a productive Wellwood is a happy Wellwood. If you were able to realize half the potential you have as an NHL set up man you would fill that void in your soul more than a million jellied donuts could ever do.
I realize you've been injured, had several abdominal surgeries, and probably aren't feeling all too savy about your health, And I get that. If you are really not ready for training camp after your most recent trips under the knife, take some more time off. A spot will be waiting for you on the Maple Leaf's bench.
You are a super talented hockey Player Kyle, and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise. But the only way out of this doghouse is work, work and more work. I know the siren song of ding dongs and Belgian waffles is strong, but I know you're stronger. If you need someone to call, I hear Gary Roberts throws down amazing motivational speeches. I'm sure he can even get you set up on a work out plan.
Kyle, again, we only mock you because we love you. You're that underachieving little brother that we all see greatness in. It just makes us sad when you don't realize your potential.

Buck up little soldier, 2009 will be the year of the Wellwood.

Much support.


jaredoflondon.



This is only the beginning.

4 comments:

Loser Domi said...

I know the siren song of ding dongs and Belgian waffles is strong, but I know you're stronger.

Between this and the LoLeafs, I wanna hug you. And Kyle. Simultaneously...

/has had too much sugar today

Jaredoflondon said...

Sugar is my friend

eyebleaf said...

man i love kyle. i'm expecting big tings from him this year. if mats leaves, he's our number one centre. and that's fucked up.

Greener said...

Those battered fists'll get you every time.