Hurry....Hard!

It's a curling joke! Get it? Huh? Huh?

My cleverness knows no bounds!

God MS Paint is hard.

We Must Flee!

In the photo'choppin' spirit of Pensblog, I give you Robertzilla!
Yes, I know the game wasn't at the SBC, and I know Gary Roberts isn't a giant reptilian hybrid, but he stomped all over Ottawa, Tokyo style. Reminds me of the good ol' days.
I love this picture like it was my own child, It took a hell of alot longer than I thought it would but it was worth it. MS Paint is hard.

Where Do We Go Now?

Hello friends! Are you confused what to do now that your team has been eliminated? Still want to watch hockey but don't want to cheer for another team because that would be blasphemy? Tired of just cheering for teams you hate to loose?
I have the answer you are looking for, and some suggestions on how to go about fulfilling your new playoff commitment!
The solution is simple and easy to follow, and the best part is that it leaves you guilt free about cheering for someone other than your beloved.
Cheer for players, not teams!
Just pick a player, or players that you think deserve, or would like to see to win the Stanley Cup!
Here are some suggestions and reasons why these players are worth cheering for.

Alexander Ovechkin - The most dynamic scorer in today's NHL, endlessly entertaining and he truly loves to score, win and just play hockey. He has all the wacky personality traits and goofy facial hairs to soften even the hardest opposing fans heart.

Martin Brodeur - He needs as many cups as he can get to be cemented as the best goalie ever. Crazy man Roy needs to be knocked down a peg.

Geno Malkin - Carried the Pens to the playoffs when Crosby was out. Reminds me of an early Forsberg, little flash, all magic.

Jarome Iginla - He is the closest thing to Wendel Clark the NHL has, and that is more than enough.

Dion Phaneuff- Just to cause Pierre Mcguire's head would explode with joy.

Gary Roberts - For all the good he did the Leafs in the past, plus if he wins a cup somewhere else maybe he'll want to come home.

Christobal Heut - It would piss of Habs fans. Call it Roy to Colorado part 2.

Jason Spezza - Just kidding!

Remember, only you can prevent cross-cheering. Pick a player, for whatever reason, and enjoy the playoffs!

Ending On A Low Note

Tonight, said favourite team close out what has been a crap-tacular season against Les Canadiens. I know exactly what I want to see on the ice tonight. I want to see one hell of a shit kicking. I want to see a blow-out, a shut out and catastrophic fallout after the game.

I want the Habs to kill the Leafs tonight.

Hold on, pick your faces off the floor, I have a logical train of thought here. Winning will do nothing but give the hollowest of hollow victories to Team Foliage. A loss on the other hand will make a clean sweep in the off season seem all the more urgent. An absolute incineration even more so.

So play Raycroft, sit the injured and the useless, it's not like it could get any worse for anyone who is already going to loose their job.

Lets get project pooper-scooper off to a good start. Create an atmosphere of 'Oh shit!' in the MLSE (as much a one as can be possible anyway). Give the GM and new coach coming in a reason to make drastic, crazy and ground-breaking changes.

It has to get worse before it gets better. I'm looking at tonight like tearing off a band aid. It's probably going to hurt, but do you really want that stinky, festering old band-aid interfering with the healing that needs to occur.

I also came up with a new nickname for Raycroft. Stinky, festering old band-aid. Catchy ain't it?

See You In Hell

Well I missed last nights game because of work, and I'm kinda glad I, haevn't seen the highlights yet, TSN and sports center seem to be hiding them from me like they know something I don't.
Leafs got crushed, Sens now have momentum, Bah. But apparently Mark Bell did something cool.

And now I ask that you bow your heads in Prayer.

Now I lay Hope down to sleep,
I pray the Sens the Bruins do beat.
I should cry if the playoffs they make,
I pray they choke, and not on cake
Amen

I am going to hell for that, and any of you that laughed are going too!

EDIT

Holy Shit! Best hit EVAR!
Also McCabe had a half decent fight? What the hell? If it weren't for the score, this could have been the best game ever.

Unconditional Conditions

There are very few things in this world that I love unconditionally.
My family.
Myself (narcissism aside).
Redbull.
Hockey.
And the Toronto Maple Leafs.

But by god Leafs, if you don't beat those goddamn Sens tonight, you will be testing my limits.

LolLeafs - Spoiler Edition

Man LD, you are keeping me on my toes with these LolLeafs.