Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Follicle Thoughts

I love getting my hair cut, I really do. Sitting in that chair is just so relaxing. I usually go into a trance of sorts, deep thoughts and all that jazz. I think about everything, from theoretical physics to hockey. Which brings me here today (well that and the cheesecake). Today during my monthly hair removal, I had some interesting revelations that I thought you might like to share in. And here they are in no particular order or context.

Un'ca Cliff is a genious. No bones about it, he played McCabe perfectly and I think he's doing the right thing with Sundin. Straight up heres what we'll give you, heres what we're doing with the team, we want you back but no pressure, have a good summer fishing and driving Volvos. I honestly thing it will work out. Jeff Finger figures (heh, Finger Figures) aside, his signings have all been smart. A surplus of Grit and defensivly minded players is never a bad thing. The Leafs don't have the guns to be a huge scoring machine, so they will become a shutdown machine.

Mark Bell is a perfect fit for this Leaf team. He is big, willing to play physical and what he has shown thus far in the Blue and White is that he is willing to sacrifice himself for the team. You have to respect that. He, like the Leafs is going through a rebuilding phase and I really think as this team grows, so will he. I don't ever expect him to regain his offensive skills that he showed in Chicago, but he has the blue print of someone who will do whatever he can to win, and carry the team on his shoulders to do it.

Once bread becomes toast, it can never go back.

If the Leafs name a Capitan (other than Mats) it should be Thomas Kaberle. If anything for his devotion and exceptional play for this team. Kabby may not be a powerful voice in the dressing room, but he leads by example on the ice. It would also show him the loyalty he deserves from this organization and show the rest of that their hard work will be rewarded.

Peddie is up to something. First bringing in Un'ca Cliff and giving him free reign, and then Wilson who is EXACTLY the coach that can make the parts this team has work as a machine. I don't like it.

I would trade Ian White for a cheeseburger, or a chicken sammich.....Is KFC still open?

My favourite move of the Leafs this off season (other than Shenn, natch) is snagging Curtis Joseph from the jaws of obscurity. It's win win for all parties involved. Cujo gets to prove himself to us again that he is worth our love. The MLSE gets a cheap, veteran goalie who can plug the holes and probably wont complain for a trade. The fans get to see that bitchen' Cujo mask painted in Blue and White, the way it should be. And Vesa gets one of the better goalies of all time to mentor him and a solid backup he can depend on if he needs a break.

I want Mats back, for if no reason than to give him a proper goodbye at the end of the year, he deserves the half hour long standing ovation he would get.


I like Mat Stajan better than Alex Steen, I don't know why. Toronto sports writters have spoiled my brain. I know Steen is better, and has more potential. But...Stajan is just so....something?
Ooo shiny scissors.


Monday, August 18, 2008

Hit The Road Jack

Now we all (and by we I mean me and my friends that I grew up with, the rest of you I am not so sure) played a ton of road hockey in our younger days. Entire summers were spent chasing wayward tennis balls that missed the net, or yelling "Car" and halting the game for what I dubbed as a 'Zamboni run' when I was 9 (see I was as clever then as I am now).
The main part I remember is how much fun it was, especially since you really can't take road hockey seriously because nothing ever goes right. Players slip on loose gravel, goalie pad straps come undone at the most in-opportune time and there is usually a 5 year old in the mix who gets lost underfoot continuously creating an atmosphere of "where the hell is that little shit? I don't want to body check him into that on coming Buick".
The main reason road hockey is so fun is because you don't have to be good at hockey to enjoy it. Less skilled players can take out any offensive threat with the 'sweep my stick back and forth really fast so you can't get by me with the ball' move. The lack of ice takes the advantage away from those who can skate (assuming everyone can walk or jog at a decent rate) and those with wicked shots are kept in check by the "you miss the net, you chase the ball" policy. Sure, picking the corners is all well and good, but if you miss, your going for a jog my friend!
I particularly enjoy it because it is the only time I get to play goal. I always wanted to be a goalie, but according to my dad "goalie gear is too expensive to waist money on if you cant even skate" and then when I leaned to skate "You can skate to good to waist your efforts on being a goalie". Oh he was a crafty one, too bad he didn't know chicks dig goalies, because then maybe he'd stop bitchen' about me being single.

So heres the grandiose getting ahead of myself idea, I'll just throw it out there and see what sticks. A blogger road hockey game/tournament. Ideally it would pit bloggers of specific teams against each other, but seeing as how some teams have vastly more support than others, it wouldn't work too well. Maybe a 'Team barlikosphere' Vs the world concept? I dunno. The specifics of location, participation and such would have to of course be ironed out. And depending on the success, (or lack their of) I was thinking of maybe putting in and "all proceeds go to charity" thing. Yes I think big when I blog off of caffeine and no sleep. At the very least it could be an "all proceeds go to the bartender" deal.
So what is your take dear readers? Suggestions? Comments? Medication?

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Picture Me Rollin'

Hi everybody!
I guess it's been a little quiet round these parts the last little while, but then these are the dog days of summer, and that means two things. No hockey, and laziness of which the likes most have never seen, unless you watched Kyle Wellwood last year.
I've spent my time trying to keep up with the Olympics, but succeeding at only really paying attention to womens beach volleyball, getting in on some drunken live blogging of said Olympics (we talked about the Olympics a bit, I swear.) and of course finding Jesus. He was at Taco Bell, and I know it was him because his holy gases smelt like Wine and Fish.
I'll do what I can to post some more interesting crap than this soon, maybe even something hockey related. But I can't promise anything because I may get distracted by a shiny object again soon.

Oh yes, and McCabe looks gonzo by September first, this makes me want to tent my fingers and say 'excellent' and then release the hounds.
I've been watching a lot of The Simpsons......shut up.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Home Improvement

The Top 5 Ways To make the NHL Better
By someone doped up on back pain medication.

1. Eliminate profite sharing with the exceptions of expansion or recently moved teams for a period of 4 years. Let the weak die.

2. Remove the shootout. This is a team sport, not a side show (thats what the fights are for)

3. Keep fighting, but buckle down on the Chris Simon's and other freak-tards.

4. Abolish no movement clauses, no trade clauses are fine because they give players some bargining room at the table. But if the team really dosn't want you, they shouldn't have to keep you on the roster (said players will still be entitled to their signed contract pay).

5. Remove Gary Betman and replace him with a dried up turnip.

I can see through time!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Take Two

General drunken thoughts of a Leaf fan, during the off season.

Seriously Mats, any time now dude.

I don't like you, stupid zebra striped people

don't look at me like that.

no touch icing dag nabbit, do it now.

Jack danials....jerk