Trade Deadline Predictions, With a Twist

Yearly, us hockey fans are subjected to an influx of trade rumours from a variety of sources, some legit, some questionable and some down right laughable. I will let you all decide who is who on your own. No time is worse (or best, depending on how you look at it) than the current.

The trade deadline, February 27th. The last chance for NHL GM's to make a splash by adding, or subtracting players and assets.

I have always had a love/love relation with said day, I love the excitement of trading and the power shift it can bring and I love the balls out stupidity of some of the crap that gets flung out there, so this year I have decided to try something out.

I am going to take on the rumour mongers. Yes, you read that right, armed with zero sources and nothing but a free iPhone app, I am going to predict your deadline for you.

Ok now, let's start with everyone's hottest commodity, Rick Nash.

Magic 8-ball, will Rick Nash be traded?

"You may rely on it!"

Will Rick Nash be traded to the Eastern Conference?

"Unlikely..."

Will Rick Nash Be traded to California?

"Of course"

Will Rick Nash Be traded to L.A.?

"Without a doubt!"

eeenteresting, ok, now lets move on to everyone's favourite trade destination, Toronto

Will Brian Burke trade for an impact player before the deadline?

"Yes!"

Will it be a forward?

"Decidedly so!"

Is it Jeff Carter?

"Outlook not so good..."

Are the Leafs after Rick Nash?

"Certianly not..."

Is it Dustin Penner? (please god no)

"Definitely yes!" (FUCK)

wait, Dustin Penner is an impact player?

"Without a doubt!"

uh...ok, moving on, is that the only move Burke will make?

"Of course"

For a defenceman?

"You may rely on it!"

From the western conference?

"definitely yes!

is it Ryan Suter?

"better not tell you now...."

don't be a cock tease

"You may rely on it!

Rely on you being a cock tease?

"ask again later"

you coy bastard, How about a goaltender, is Burke after one?

"unlikely"

Will Luke Schenn be traded?

"Outlook is good!"

You are one vague son of a bitch, ok, last question are the other rumour mongers just as fake as you?

"Of course...."

and there you have it