Back In Blue

Lies eh? I'll show you lies. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Die Hard Blue and White is proud to present *drum roll please*

THE KYLE WELLWOOD SUPER POST!

Super Post you ask? What is this?
First, we start with a little Leaf-a-like Action

Its Kyle Wellwood VS Toby Maguire!
Sure, Kyle's a little doughier and Toby's a little more Blake'ish in tone. But they still share that pre-pubescent stubble and 'hur hur, I just sawed boobies' grin.


Then we throw down a little LoLeafs for spice, this one's for you LD!



Now we get to the meat. The Open letter section.

An Open Letter To Kyle Wellwood:

Hi Kyle, it's me, jaredoflondon.

Now I know you may not be too fond of me at the moment, for I, like many another blogger have ridden you pretty hard this year. Slagging on you for laziness, to poor judgement to eating too many battered fists.
See Kyle, the thing is, we only taunt you because we love you. We really want you to accell as a Toronto Maple Leaf. Not just for us, not just for the Blue Bud that graces your chest. But for you. We know that a productive Wellwood is a happy Wellwood. If you were able to realize half the potential you have as an NHL set up man you would fill that void in your soul more than a million jellied donuts could ever do.
I realize you've been injured, had several abdominal surgeries, and probably aren't feeling all too savy about your health, And I get that. If you are really not ready for training camp after your most recent trips under the knife, take some more time off. A spot will be waiting for you on the Maple Leaf's bench.
You are a super talented hockey Player Kyle, and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise. But the only way out of this doghouse is work, work and more work. I know the siren song of ding dongs and Belgian waffles is strong, but I know you're stronger. If you need someone to call, I hear Gary Roberts throws down amazing motivational speeches. I'm sure he can even get you set up on a work out plan.
Kyle, again, we only mock you because we love you. You're that underachieving little brother that we all see greatness in. It just makes us sad when you don't realize your potential.

Buck up little soldier, 2009 will be the year of the Wellwood.

Much support.


jaredoflondon.



This is only the beginning.

The End Is Beginning

Well dear readers, there has been some big news a happening round yonder hockey world.
What? You know? What do you know? The Wings won the Cup? Well duh, yeah, I know. I'm talking about something bigger, something MUCH bigger.

Thats right I'M BACK BITCHES (and bitchets)

Worry not, for this is just a welcome back post. I have just to dust off and polish up some gems I have stored in yonder gold mine and we be back in bidness.

Not Dead Yet

Yes dear readers, those of you (Hi LD!) who have chosen to continue to check this page during my forced hiatus, I am still alive. Alas, I come bearing bad news, after an epic struggle with Bell, I have been forced to secure other avenues of internet. Scrapes from friends, family, the old "hey look over there!" trick and high jacking some random emo kids laptop at the Starbucks be my only drops of interwebs....for now.
I shall return, my goal is, at the least optimistic, to be making you all laugh again round yonder entry draft.

But I must flee, the Emo kid who owns this lap top has retrieved his Good Charolette CD from the garbage can and is coming back.

Hi Ho Silver! Away!

Into Obscurity...More So

Well dear reader(s?).
As of Tomorrow, I'll be undertaking "Project Heavy Lifting" or as it is called in some circles "Moving". But who calls it that anymore?
As with any move, internet access will be in a state of flux. So until I can find a nice neighbour in my new building to steal internet fro....I mean wait for the cable guy to show and hook me up all legal like with internety goodness, posts here will be waining. As will my comments on all your wonderful blogs (You know who you are).
Catch you on the flip flop be-bop!

Also, before I go.
Whats'a matt'a Fabio? Too good for gods team? Jerk!

Recalibrating

To be brief.

Stupid 'Anti-Playoff Hockey Ray'. I go to work for one game and the stupid cat knocks the power chord. Next round will be different. *Shakes fist*.

Also, the Montreal 'Riot'? Grow up please you dorks.

Also, give Sherry a visit/comment/email if you are interesting in a blogger party in Satan's belly (Read: Ottawa) during the NHL draft. I'll be attending, and what more reason do you need?

Straight Eye For The Rayzor Guy

Both Rayzor Emery and Andrew Rayzorcroft had, well lets say, sub-par seasons. Both are dealing with potential buy outs, unless of course their respective teams can deal them away for more than a bag of pucks and a thimble (you never know when you'll need a thimble).
But who is more attractive to the market? Who is most likely to find a new home?

Round One: Magic Numbers - Stats.
Ray Emery
Games Played: 31
Wins:12
Loses:13
OT:4
GAA:3.13
Save%: .890

Andrew Raycroft
Games Played:19
Wins:2
Loses:9
OT:5
GAA: 3.92
Save%: .876

Edge - Emery by the numbers. But Raycroft's numbers are slightly inflated due to the small amount of games played and the horrific defense in front of him. Emery's also may have suffered from inconsistant playing time from the infamous 'win and your in' policy.

Round Two: Show Me The Money - Contract.
Ray Emery
$3,166,667 for two more years.

Andrew Raycroft
$2,000,000 for one more year.

Edge - Raycroft. Less money, less years, less commitment.

Round Three: Children Of The Damned - Character.
Ray Emery.
Extrovert. Flashy suits. Tatooed. Bling. Rap star persona. Bad boy for life.
Ray has developed a reputation as being selfish and arrogant, or at the very least not punctual. The media in Ottawa had a field day this year catagorizing his foibles for the world to scoff at.
It is also to note that the year before, when he was winning and the Sens went on a Stanley Cup finals run, he was just considered to have been somewhat of a character in an innocent 'He so crazy' type of way.
Ray has also proven in his past that he loves to compete, and he wont shy away from much, be it a microphone or Andrew Peters.

Andrew Raycroft.
Introvert. Eternal Opptomist. All smiles. Permenant five O'Clock shadow. Hometown boy.
Andrew is the flip side to Ray's coin of misfortune. He doesn't seem to stir up the pot, all his interviews sound like he is just trying to say the most positive thing he can say at any given moment. Seemed more than happy to sit on the bench and open the door for Toskala although it was evident he wanted to be on the ice. His main problem is that he can't seem to use emotion in a positive way. He can't translate either positive or negative emotion into his play on the ice. If he is having a good game, he relaxes and then lets in the 'Raycrap wave(TM)' goal Leaf fans are accustomed to. If he is having a bad game, he gets grumpy and well... the ghost of red light Racicot takes over his body.

Edge: Tie. It depends what you are looking for and what would be a better fit on your team. A young, driven rough around the edges cowboy or a calm, quiet 'aw shucks I'll try my darndest' type.

Round Four: What have you done for me lately? - Accomplishments.
Ray Emery
Stanley Cup Run in 2007.
Speed bagging Marty Biron and then grinning like the Joker as he held his own against Andrew Peters.
Got Replaced by Baby Cheese as the Sens #1

Andrew Raycroft.
Calder in 2002.
Robbing Billy Guerin in 2007 with probably one of the greatest saves ever.
Being one hell of a doorman in the 07/08 season.
Got Replaced by The Tosk as the Leafs #1

Edge: Raycroft. Because I'm a biased jerk

Raycroft wins!

Target Aquired

Since the demise of the Ottawa Senators hopes and dreams, it is time to turn my all powerful 'Anti-Playoff Hockey Ray' (patent pending) at its new target, the slightly less evil Montreal Canadians.
Count your days Habbies, for they be numbered.

Maniacal laugh goes here.