Monday, February 18, 2008

For Sale

One Media Type Person Seeking Employment As Anonymous Source (stop laughing blogs are media....kinda).
Will estimate, inflate, initiate and any other 'ate' any and all sports rumors for a fare fee.
Will spread negative source comments about Ottawa Senators, Buffalo Sabers, Montreal Canadians and Baseball at drastically reduced wages.
Able to work, days, nights and weekends. Preferably looking for full time work, but will take part time as well.
Have computer, phone and voice disguising device, so is able to work from home.
Only stipulation is that I remain anonymous. Pay and bullshit quota is negotiable.

Resume enclosed.


Down Goes Brown said...

We received your resume. A few quick interview questions:

- When discussing hip injuries, do you know the difference between the "career-ending" and "already healed"? Do you care?

- Would you feel comfortable seeing your scoops reprinted verbatim with (e4) added on to the end?

- Can you drive a limo?

Thanks in advance,
The Hockey Media

Anonymous said...

Cheaper and more efficient to rely upon the traditional Nonexistant Anonymous Source.

That nonexistant guy/girl demands no pay and is very close friends with all GM's and all players and their respective agents.

Loser Domi said...

are you willing to work weekends?

Do you know the difference between "enter into negotiations with" and "talking with his ficus"? If no, can you act as if you do?