Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Home Improvement

The Top 5 Ways To make the NHL Better
By someone doped up on back pain medication.

1. Eliminate profite sharing with the exceptions of expansion or recently moved teams for a period of 4 years. Let the weak die.

2. Remove the shootout. This is a team sport, not a side show (thats what the fights are for)

3. Keep fighting, but buckle down on the Chris Simon's and other freak-tards.

4. Abolish no movement clauses, no trade clauses are fine because they give players some bargining room at the table. But if the team really dosn't want you, they shouldn't have to keep you on the roster (said players will still be entitled to their signed contract pay).

5. Remove Gary Betman and replace him with a dried up turnip.

I can see through time!


Anonymous said...

While I like the idea of replacing Bettman I am not sure that a dried up turnip would be an upgrade.

Maybe a mouldy avocado would be better.

general borschevsky said...

Good list. Very good.

Loser Domi said...

A dried up turnip has no hockey snese. A box of tictacs on the other hand, is an expert, plus TicTacs can double as a handy set of maracas.

Jaredoflondon said...

minty maracas!

Miss. Scarlett said...

Remove Gary Betman and replace him with a dried up turnip.

I don't know, Jared. Can we even AFFORD the dried up turnip?

Jaredoflondon said...

we have the MLSE, we can afford any dried up produce we want. Look at the track record
Yanic Perrault(x800)
Eric Lindros
Brian Leetch
Travis Green
etc etc etc

dani said...

I'm dropping a line to say hello.