Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Skull Candy

Well my little chickadee's, the NHL season is over. Yeah yeah yeah, I know there is playoffs and all that jazz, but honestly do they matter sans Leafs? Of course not, don't be silly. Nothing that doesn't include Toronto matters, don't you read the papers?
What do we do now? Watch these 'playoffs'? watch one of those lesser sports? play DDR excessively?
Well, for those of you wondering what the BEST options you have at your disposal are, I have compiled a top ten list, I love lists

10 - Stare at a picture of Gary Betman and try to make his eyeballs explode with your mind

9 - watch All Heart over and over and over and over and over and over and over (this goes on for a while)

8 - Try, without success to keep track of all the young prospects Burke signs

7 - Grow a mustache to further your career

6 - Over value the current Leaf roster so your draft day hopes and ridiculous predictions crush your soul.

5- Play NHL 09 ad nausium and hope that your Xbox gets struck by lightening and that Leaf dynasty you built appears on the ACC ice.

4 - Send threats to any GM who drafts a head of the Leafs demanding that they trade their first rounder to Burke or else "you know who" will visit them in the night.

3 - Play DDR excessively

2 - Wear your Leaf gear everywhere just to piss off fans of other teams, respond to their "not in the playoffs" retorts with a paintball gun you have concealed in your TML Snuggie.

1- Fantasize endlessly about Luke Schenn, as if you already weren't

2 comments:

wrap around curl said...

Schenngasms.

Loser Domi said...

I am disappointed you didn't use the shirtless Whitey photo, but that's ok.

If I try to do all these activities, will my head explode?