Skull Candy

Well my little chickadee's, the NHL season is over. Yeah yeah yeah, I know there is playoffs and all that jazz, but honestly do they matter sans Leafs? Of course not, don't be silly. Nothing that doesn't include Toronto matters, don't you read the papers?
What do we do now? Watch these 'playoffs'? watch one of those lesser sports? play DDR excessively?
Well, for those of you wondering what the BEST options you have at your disposal are, I have compiled a top ten list, I love lists

10 - Stare at a picture of Gary Betman and try to make his eyeballs explode with your mind

9 - watch All Heart over and over and over and over and over and over and over (this goes on for a while)

8 - Try, without success to keep track of all the young prospects Burke signs

7 - Grow a mustache to further your career

6 - Over value the current Leaf roster so your draft day hopes and ridiculous predictions crush your soul.

5- Play NHL 09 ad nausium and hope that your Xbox gets struck by lightening and that Leaf dynasty you built appears on the ACC ice.

4 - Send threats to any GM who drafts a head of the Leafs demanding that they trade their first rounder to Burke or else "you know who" will visit them in the night.

3 - Play DDR excessively

2 - Wear your Leaf gear everywhere just to piss off fans of other teams, respond to their "not in the playoffs" retorts with a paintball gun you have concealed in your TML Snuggie.

1- Fantasize endlessly about Luke Schenn, as if you already weren't

Too Many Grandmas

The Leafs have, at the current station in time, too many men on the back end, and no, that's not a He Score / He Shoot reference.
Defense men, they be coming out of the woodwork, they be. McCabe, Kabby, Kubina, Carlo, The human Pun, Straleman, White, and probably Marlie training camp challengers in Kronwall, Froggy (yes, I've already nicknamed him) And TFS 2.0 (all rights reserved Four Habs Fans) the Shenninator the Leafs have a veritable plethora of blue line buccaneers.
Now, most likely, some of the above mentioned will be traded, moved or Marlie'd. I have a better, more unorthodox idea. I know eh? Unorthodox? From me? What is this, Bizarro world (Of Loser Domi).
It is simple. Make center a defensive position. That's right. Ya' Heard Me! The Leafs are already off center, so to speak, with no true number one center men. So this balances the roster nicely. Make one of the Defense, preferably one who can take a face off (practice practice practice boyos) and who has some decent speed take center stage! Its brilliant!
The Leafs aren't exactly an offensive power and goals will doubt fully come in bunches, but imagine Kabby patrolling the high slot in a defensive stance with Shut downers Finger and Shenn covering far back. Kabby's vision and excellent first pass combined with his excellent skating and positioning feeding speedsters like Blake and Grabs will have other teams in fits!
Throw this all in with Commander Wilson's penchant for defensive play and coaching and you have one tasty soup.

You can leave your complements to the chef in the comments.